http://parishpriestblogger.blogspot.com/
First of all, I would highly recommend reading Father David's post from today. As usual, he articulates perfectly what I'm trying to say, especially in the paragraph where he talks about the spirutal "high" of retreats and how real faith comes after the high has subsided, abandoning the superficial "addiction" that the good feeling of Jesus brings and developing a truly meaningful relationship with him. My big beef recently, the thing that had really been gnawing at my bones for a couple weeks, has been trying to stand up for the ACTS retreat, something that has benefited my life in so many ways but something I have so many doubts and questions with myself. Sometimes I wonder what my purpose/intention in leading ACTS is, and if I am actually doing anyone (or myself for that matter) any good. I am SO sick of having to defend the validity of ACTS to the throngs of passionate doubters as well, not because I don't have respect for them, but because more often than not I agree with their attacks and the only counter-defense I can erect is one that is flawed and littered with holes. It becomes impossible to stand up for the values and spiritual lessons imparted by ACTS when my fellow leaders are living a life of blatant hypocrisy...this shatters the impact it has on the retreatants and prospective retreatants, and alienates me from the people who I call my friends yet have no been on a retreat. They cannot accept a retreat that leads to one week or so of spiritual fulfillment and excitement, only to rot and decay back into the selfish, materialistic life that they were living before. And you know what? Neither can I. So how can I continue to stand up for something that I believe so strongly in, but that is crumbling from the inside due to the moral corruption of the so-called leaders? I just feel that the impact is so foggy and so lost in the translation due to the poisonous mouths of those who are doing the false preaching themselves. This has been my major gripe, and really my only gripe, since going on my first ACTS retreat 4 years ago. I cannot look at the disgusting hypocrisy of my "peers" and continue to believe fully in the message we are spreading, just because I know they are not living it and it cheapens my experience and my dedication to these values. I want with everything I have for all my friends and loved ones to go on these retreats and experience the amazing gift of grace that one receives, and I encourage anyone who has any doubts or misconceptions to speak to Father David, but I realize that you may not want to be a part of something that from the outside appears to be a huge facade of Jesus-worship manafactured only to mask the rancid life that you live on the weekends. But also realize that one person does not make the ACTS team: it is a community, a flawed one, but a community that is strong and made up of enough staunch, passionate people that it has a powerful impact. Just like all of humanity, not everyone can be perfect in their morals and beliefs, but the struggle and the effort is what makes these retreats so powerful and the struggle so tragic. The struggle is not meaningful without the effort, and that is my main concern. There are too many who are not even willing to change their lifestyle, stuck in the muck of their own selfishness and even, horrifically, making this retreat all about them and their own struggles, a pity party replacing a drenching rain of God's gifts. The retreat is about gratitude, about forming bonds and strong relationships with God and the people around you, and about overcoming struggles with faith, passion, and a belief in something more than the material, not about embracing a cocaine faith that feels thrilling for a few moments but soon disappates before anything of substance can come of it. I'm not going to divulge the secrets of ACTS...that is something that must be discovered on your own spiritual journey, an unexplainable event experienced tangibly, and I'm not trying to recruit, but it strikes me like a funeral bell that there are these misconceptions out there, breeding hypocrisy, that ACTS is a pushy, cultish group of God-fueled puppets only reading from a dry manuscript that means nothing to them and only creates the illusion of being God-driven. ACTS is a thriving, struggling, loving community, and though I have my own struggles and doubts about its power, I know at the end of the day that I gain my own self-fulfillment and contentment from it, and recognizing that others are struggling with me in solidarity makes the journey all the more meaningful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Fries I back you up on this 100%... seriously, I know that there are team members and even retreatants that have "just done it because my friends are doing it" and it sucks that that happens... but its part of what happens in life (which sucks). And another thing, I really haven't met ONE person who has said that they hated the retreat 100% or that it wasn't a fun time with God and friends. Which kind of goes back to those who diss it right off the bat... I believe most do it because they are scared to try it or they have no idea what its like so they talk mess about it because others are doing it. Those that have nothing to do with ACTS, plain and simple, have no room to talk smack about it because THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW IT ALL WORKS! Plus let them say what they want, because they are talking trash about people who are strong in their faith...I don't see what's so funny or wrong about that.
okay im prolly the one of the people that have judged it yes i have and i admit it, but it do not judge the ACTS on account of the retreat just the people that publicly go against everything they vowed to go against just weeks before. I always felt that you get back as much as you take ,and the people ,such as both of you two put enough into it to get a lot of out it, can look at your team members and say wait a sec this isnt what it was suppose to be like. I read father David's post and agree on it fully the high lasts for a short period of time maybe because it is so easy to not get distracted from the world when you are on the retreat, but as a person slowly moves back into the world everything jumps back to them and some forget what the total meaning of it was. The misconceptions is not drawn from people thinking that about the retreat but the people that do not come out of the retreat with the same respect as you have. Some people want to do it for the recognition of saying yes i have been and i got the bracelet i did it there is way more to it than that i know, but i do not agree with the change of heart from some people that is what makes others such as myself question it and get a prejudice view on things...
phenomenal post clark...a lot of your concerns are the same things that bother me. i agree that you receive what you put into it...
yessir anytime man i know where yall are coming from and i somewhat regret not doing the retreat im sure its amazing, but im afraid that i wont give as much as a maybe should and i would be part of the sometimes stereotypical group of people we just discussed just be a hypocrit myself doing that
Okay well honestly, I don't need to attend an ACTS retreat to be able to see what is going on there. I understand that about 30% of the attendees, such as you two venerable gentlemen (Cory and Jordan,) pour your souls into them, and come out a better person. That is great!!! However, it is easy to see that the other 70% only put on a facade to appear holy when their peers are doing the same. Personally, I could care less about the ACTS retreat hypocrisy because this is how Christianity is for the majority of it's practitioners around the globe. I deeply respect the people that actually open their hearts on the retreats and become better people, but it is extremely hard for me to take their group seriously when the vast majority continue to inundate themselves with booze, sex and drugs every weekend. The problem lies within the core existence of established, prolific religion that is expected to be shared rather than experienced in individual circumstances. I do not think the scorn of hypocrisy should be placed exclusively on the ACTS community when it has been the established course of Christianity for thousands of years.
Post a Comment