Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Tired Madman

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I've never been much of a sleeper, but this past year or so I've taken up my new profession as an Insomniac. Raging imaginations and a brain belching with satisfaction from a day's busy feast do little to satisfy the anxieties, stresses, and problems that keep me up all night. This only morphs me into a walking corpse the next day, and the next, and the next, basically setting me in some hallucinatory world where nothing makes sense and reality is surreal. Understanding me now? Because I sure don't. At least I don't look like Jeff Van Gundy yet, but when my hair starts falling out and big purple bags hang from myeyes, then I'll start to feel concern. My esteemed buddy Paul brings up the big, general existential fear of purpose, death, and the chilling realization that maybe we are just here, renting this place out until the great landlord evicts our sinful asses. With the end of everything innocent and connected to my seemingly brief childhood bombarding me these past few months at a rapid clip, it's pretty easy to lose track of life's importance and that an end always signifies a new beginning. Just with different people, and different places. That's the depressing part. Losing sleep just leaves you isolated too, as I wander the halls in a sleepy stupor just struggling to push a few funny words out to remind myself that I have a pulse. My madness is the opposite of divine sense, and my eye is anything but discerning. This year has been gratifying in various ways though, as I've always been toiling behind the scenes and I'm finally getting some gratification and assertions from people I care about that I don't go unnoticed. It's the kind of thing that helps one rest easier...

I can't leave without mentioning Yao Ming and the Rockets. Last week, good ole' prophet Fries pointed out the underrated characteristics of Ming and how valuable his free throw shooting would be in the playoffs. How does 10-10 and a Game 1 victory over the Lakers sound? I refuse to gloat, but I will say that I'm basking in the glow of my right-ness. But even I couldn't imagine the Rockets winning, and really outplaying in every area, the Lakers in the Staples Center last night. Anyone who watched the game, including even the most staunch Spurs' fan (cough cough), should have been able to see that the game wasn't a fluke. Battier and Artest played great, stingy defense on L.A.'s big three of Kobe, Odom, and Gasol, forcing guys like Trevor Ariza and Derek Fisher to beat them with threes. It didn't happen. If Houston can continue that kind of defensive effort, then Clutch City will indeed be back. Stay thirsty my friends

3 comments:

Clark Pantel said...

brotha man u always seem to amaze me ... im in the same boat as you with the not sleeping just different waters i dont pour my soul into a passionate paragraph explaning the worlds end and stuff like that no i roll around my bed trying to figure out what to do with my life these days... all high school sports have left us in unsatisfactory ways and it seems maybe school will too just gotta keep it plugged in for the next two weeks and we are through i may post something as the time comes but never know we'll see keep it chilled freeeeeeeze!!!

C.B. said...

Now Im not gunna lie...the "cough, cough" part of your rockets paragraph made me laugh... but I understand how you're feeling. The year is comign to end and the future is SO DARK. TRUST ME, you will get through it. No matter how hard or scary the future looks to you, you will find a way to live through it. I thought this semester would be the end of a lot of things for me, but as it comes to an end I can truly see what prevailing through it all has done for me. It ha made me a stronger person mentally and physically. You shall experience happieness and fearfulness in the upcoming months but once its all said and done I am POSITIVE that the happiness will be the thing you experience more in the end. I cant wait to get back into victoria with yall guys. PEACE!....Oh and good post...haha I like that picture of Van Gundy.

Clark Pantel said...

hey bena man i guess if going off to college and seeing the future in your hands is scary then thats all good... right now its dim because its all coming to an end school and stuff, but then again its opening up a whole new world for us and brand new opputunities i see the bright white in my future brotha man